


Why listen to your own voice, when it can be the most misleading?

by Wingedvix21



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Again, Angst, Anxiety, Be More Chill - Freeform, Cute, Emotional, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gay, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what age they are? I'm just going to say they are all 16-17?, I promise, I'll change the rating once there's smut in it, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Man this is a lot of tags, Michael has been traumatised more than the people who actually had squips, Michael is scared of going to the bathroom, Musical, Mutual Pining, Not a lot though, Panic Attacks, Pining, Romance, SQUIP - Freeform, Science Fiction, Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, and Jeremy is scared of that thing he did on his computer that the squip didn't want him doing, boyf riends — Freeform, but it won't be a while so if you aren't okay with it don't worry, but it's mostly just me apologising, i break the 4th wall sometimes, i just need to know if you guys like this or not, if you know what i mean, im sorry, is anyone still reading the tags?, michael is depressing sometimes and I'm sorry, not for a while though, self-hate, squip squad, stay patient, this happens after the squip, yep, you can have a cookie for your efforts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2018-11-29 22:44:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11450598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingedvix21/pseuds/Wingedvix21
Summary: After the events of the squip, everyone had some healing to do, physically or mentally.Especially Michael. After falling in love with his best friend, then was called a loser and left to cry in the bathroom by that very person, it's sure to leave some scarring.But they were friends again, so no big deal right?"Hey Michael, I got a date with Christine!"Oh.(This fic was suppose to be mostly about their romantic relationship, but I somehow made it really sad, idk, this is just a test to see if you guys like the idea or not, the chapters will be longer later, I promise)





	1. I hate this feeling I have

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like it!

"Hey michael! Christine asked me out on a date!"

Michael was in his basement playing some old game that he hadn't finished, although he wasn't really paying attention as he was trying to keep his phone pressed to his ear, talking to his best friend of 12 years, Jeremy heere.

Jeremy had a crush on Christine and that's what started the whole "squip" thing that they don't really talk about unless they have to, since Jeremy always seems uncomfortable and Michael ends up feeling bad.

Michael didn't fully understand what exactly happened with the squip, because he never had one (thank god), he just knew that is was gone now and it wasn't a good experience for anyone even remotely involved, as a lot of people ended up in the hospital, some had headaches that lasted a couple of days and Jake had to stay longer than everyone else, because of his legs. But we're getting sidetracked, Jeremy had apparently just rather suddenly announced that he had a date... With Christine...

"R-really? That's awesome!" He said, slightly too loudly.

Awesome for Jeremy. Not so much Michael.

Michael's has had the BIGGEST crush on Jeremy for about 2 or 3 years now. We're talking "I want to spend my life with them" kind of feelings. Sure he was happy and excited for Jeremy finally getting to date the "girl of his dreams", but that didn't stop the soul crushing disappointment settling in his chest and almost making him drop his controller out of slight shock and jealousy.

 _This was bound to happen sooner or later_ he thought, as he just let his on-screen character fail the level and watched the game-over screen play. He felt like the game was mocking him.

"Y-yeah, I know right! She just kinda came up to me a-and we talked and it just happened!" He beamed.

Jeremy tended to stutter when he was excited, or nervous, or sad, or happy... basically whenever he isn't totally relaxed or focussed, which is usually when he's playing video games with Michael in his basement. Michael thought it was cute, but that was the last thing on his mind at this moment, his head kept replaying it. _Jeremy has a date._

"Dude, we totally gotta celebrate! When is it?"

Michael asked him with fake cheer in his voice, trying to mask how pathetically awful he felt. _You don't deserve him anyway._

He felt tears pricking aggressively at his eyes.

"I-it's next weekend, we're g-going for icecream. And celebrate? Video games and weed at your place?"

_Weird, he seemed oddly excited when he said that last part, but we always do that. I'm probably imagining it._

"You know it, and you have to give me the details man"

 _Be supportive. Be supportive. Don't be a jealous jerk_.

"Okay, I'll be there in 10?"

_He'll see the tears in your eyes and think you're a crybaby, he'll think you're weak._

"S-sure"

_Oh god, did you're voice just crack? You sound disgusting._

_shut up. He_ said back to himself. _It happens to Jeremy all the time, and he sounds adorable._

_But you aren't him and you sound gross._

"Dude? Hello? You okay there?"

_Oh great, what did you do now?_

Michael ignored that thought in favour of answering Jeremy.

"Um, yeah why?"

_You said that too quickly._

"Well, I asked what game we were gonna play and you didn't answer"

_Wow, now you're ignoring him, you're such a great friend._

Michael let's a single tear slip from his eye, but nothing more. _Play it cool_.

"Oh, sorry man. B-bad reception? Apocalypse of the damned probably, we beat level nine, but I kinda wanna complete the game before the next game comes out, yeah?"

Michael had his hands wrinkled in his shirt while he tried to sound calm.

It didn't work.

"Sounds good, I'll see ya later"

"Got it, bye Jer"

Michael sighed and decided to abandon his controller in front of him and use whatever remaining time he had to prepare himself for this.

"This is a brilliant start to the day..." He said sarcastically.

\--------

Okay, so Michael wasn't exactly not affected by what the squip did. Although everyone else seemed like they have gotten rid of the voices, michael didn't really have a part in that section of the song. Oops, sorry 4th wall...

Anyway, after having his only friend treat him like absolute garbage, the only other person he really had in that time was....himself. And if Jeremy had thought he wasn't worth it, Michael didn't really feel like he was anything else, he trusted Jeremy to tell him the truth and that's what Michael thought he did, someone to be used, someone who wasn't worth keeping around, someone who didn't deserve to be kept around.

At the party, around a week ago now, when he was alone in the bathroom, what Jeremy had called him was just stuck on repeat like a broken record.

_Loser._

It wouldn't stop, he couldn't make it stop. Eventually, Jeremy's voice in his head also became his own.

 _What's wrong with you!_  
God, he's such a loser!  
Why are you even alive!

_I'm such a waste of space..._

 

Screams of terror had interrupted his thoughts and he saw thick, black smoke creep through the gap under the door, Michael put his other feelings on pause. Fear and adrenaline washed through him, but what really scared him was the hint of acceptance that came with it, Michael hastily splashed water on himself again and clumsily climbed through the window, with the slight whisper thrumming through his skull that still haunts him.

_You should have stayed._


	2. Like everything is crumbling beneath me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy goes over to Michael's, they have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys, I already got so much support for this! So I'm early, hooray! Enjoy reading!

If there's one thing Jeremy knew, it's Michael. And Michael definitely wasn't okay despite his absolute insistence that he is.

Michael's voice is usually smooth and he's like, relaxed 24/7.

What he heard on the phone wasn't the average Michael, his voice just sounded... hurt. It made Jeremy's heart sink.

_Should I ask him? But what if I seem pushy? Or what if he wants me to ask him? What if I don't ask him and he gets mad? What happen if I do ask him and he gets mad?_

Jeremy shook away his nervous thoughts.

_If Michael wants to talk about something, he'd mention it, right?_

_Then again, he probably won't trust me anymore after what the squip made me do. I don't blame him._

Jeremy winced at the reminder. It wasn't what the squip did.

Jeremy is the one who called Michael a loser.  
Jeremy is the one who decided to abandon his friend.  
Jeremy is the one who was too stupid to realise how much of a jerk he was.  
And Jeremy is the one who didn't realise how important Michael is to him.

Meanwhile, let's look at the things Michael has done:  
Trusted and supported him no matter what? check.  
Came to a party he didn't wanna go to, because Jeremy had asked him to? check.  
Forgave everything that Jeremy did and saved everyone's asses? check.  
Been a great person and an amazing friend in general? check.

A sudden rush of determination shot through Jeremy. He grabbed his light bag half-full of stuff he usually brings to michael's. Including his laptop, and a few video games (There would be more stuff, but since he comes over so often, he ends up just leaving stuff there).

"If something is bothering Michael, then I'll make him feel better, no matter what!"  
He decided confidently as he throws his bag on and triumphantly marches out of his room heading for the door.

 _Michael doesn't deserve an awful friend like me, so I should make more of an effort to be a better one._ Jeremy decides silently.

_While also respecting his privacy though..._

He adds in his head, now slightly less confident, but still.

He walks out the door after giving a quick shout to his dad about where he's going, even though it's pretty obvious where he's going.

Where else would he go?

\--------

_Knock, knock, knock, knock_

Michael jumped, his heart stopped in his chest. The tears in his eyes that threatened to spill had trailed own his cheeks.

 _Oh...Jeremy's probably here._ Michael realised and urged his heart to slow as he got up and went to go into the bathroom to splash water in his face to wash away his tears "It will always wake me up..."

He gazed silently into the mirror, he looks so vulnerable and he's still on the edge of tears, but he can't keep Jeremy at the door forever.

The knocking came back, but slightly louder Michael jumped again and shouted "Coming!" Hoping Jeremy might hear him and just wait, while he makes his way to the front door.

Michael reaches for the door, his hand hesitates over the handle slightly before the door is opened to reveal a smiling Jeremy.

They stand like that for a while, eyes locked in a gaze.

 _He's so pretty._ Michael concludes.

But then he realises he's just blatantly starring at him in the doorway, not letting him in and scrambles to say something.

"Uh, yeah! Yeah, come on in, bud" Michael abruptly says and then holds the door open, making room for Jeremy to enter.

Jeremy seemed completely oblivious to the whole "staring into each other's eyes" thing that just happened and walked right on in, awkwardly catching Michael's shoulder on his way.

They made their way down to the basement (As you do) and Michael immediately noticed something off about Jeremy...

He just kept... looking at Michael with this weird look like he either wants to say something, or he wants Michael to say something. He's expecting something.

_Is this about the date? Does he wanna talk about it that badly?_

Michael tried to swallow the jealous feeling nagging at him.

_Let's get this over with._

Michael goes to pick up his controller and get out another one for Jeremy.  
However, he finds that Jeremy already got his controller, has put the game in, the title screen is up, and is sat holding out Michael's controller for him, waiting for him to take it.

_Um, okay?_

Not a regular occurrence, but Michael didn't really think much of it.

 _He's just being the awesome person he always has been._ Michael thinks.

_Yeah, much better than you'll ever be._

Michael grabs the controller and throws himself on to his beanbag and starts level 10 of apocalypse of the damned.

They play for a while, idly chatting about what they had for breakfast and what kind of dreams they had.

Michael is noticing something else now too.

He hadn't taken any damage from the zombies whatsoever.

_That's weird, usually I'm the one to take the most hits, because I'm too reckless..._

Michael looks at Jeremy's health.

_Wait, what?_

_Jeremy is gonna die soon..._

_But he's always the overly cautious type, the one that looks behind him every 5 seconds._

But then realisation struck.

_He's been shooting everything that came near me, that's why nothing is coming close! He's completely ignoring that he's getting his arm bitten off by the undead army behind him!_

Okay, this is where he starts to question Jeremy's behaviour.

Jeremy's on screen character has failed, and without Jeremy's excessive and very unnecessary protection, Michael soon comes after, showing a game over screen.

"Damn, sorry dude" Jeremy says with guilt in his voice.

"Did you just apologise for shooting everything that even came close to me?"

"Oh, y-you noticed that?"

"Who wouldn't? It was pretty obvious. It's cool that you were trying to keep everything off me and all, but... why?"

"Uh..." Jeremy looked to the ceiling.

"Spit it out, heere"

"Well... okay," Jeremy continued, "well, you seem like you're upset about something and I didn't know what to do, or how to ask, or if maybe I did something wrong, so I wanted to maybe cheer you up, or say sorry if I did something wrong and if ididsomethingimsorry-"

"Woah, breathe jer, breathe"

Jeremy took a deep breathe and he knows Michael probably heard him, but he repeated himself anyway, since what he said before probably didn't make sense.

"You seemed upset and I wanted to help... but if you really aren't upset it's fine and we could just continue to play, but if you are then-" he's rambling again.

"Please talk to me, mike" Jeremy said, puppy dog eyes and all.

Well, if that didn't send an arrow through his heart, nothing would.

"Yeah... okay, ya got me, I'm not feeling the best..."

Michael felt a twinge of warmth when he saw Jeremy exit out of the game and move closer to give him full attention.

They were close enough so that their legs were touching.

Jeremy stared at him, waiting patiently.

"I guess um.... " oh god is really going to tell Jeremy this? "I.... just kinda feel a bit jealous 'bout you having a date- not that I don't want you to! I'm happy for ya man, but like...."

Michael's eyes dropped to the floor.

_Congrats, you pretty much just told him everything, he's probably looking at you in disgust._

"It doesn't even matter, just forg-"

"It does matter!" Jeremy suddenly yelled, making Michael flinch.

Jeremy whispered an apology for his outburst and continued.

"It matters because I care about you and I wanna know things like this, I'm not gonna be mad at you for being jealous of me having a date with Christine"

 _Well, I'm more jealous of Christine having a date with you, really._ Michael thought before he could stop himself.

 _You should be mad at me, I'm such an awful friend..._ Michael added.

...

"W-what?" Jeremy squeaked out. Confusion, shock and worry all evident on his face.

"What?"

"Why are you an awful friend?"

_Shit. Had he actually said that part out loud? Oh god, what's wrong with me?_

"Um, you're.... you're still t-talking...."

"Oh..."

_His life was over..._

He had to make sure he didn't say that part, because that would make this situation worst.

Michael did the only thing he could think to do: panic.

The tears he had been holding back had started to blur his vision and he could see that Jeremy was panicking too.

He couldn't breathe.

He was drowning.

He had ruined everything.

He probably seemed patheti-

His thoughts were interrupted by a pair of arms awkwardly embracing him. Their legs were in the way, so their knees collided. Jeremy's hair was in Michael's face while their cheeks brushed ever so slightly making Jeremy's cheek wet from Michael's waterworks (Yes, it's from the tears, nothing else you perverts).

Jeremy was hugging him, the alarms in his head were yelling at him.

"It's okay..."

_What the hell is actually going on right now..._

Jeremy is literally cradling Michael, and Michael is letting him, ohmygod.

"Sorry, y-you're crying, because of me I think? I'm not sure what I did wrong, but um, I'm sorry? Forgive me..." Michael could feel Jeremy's jaw move against the side of his face.

Michael felt more water between them, but it wasn't him.

Jeremy is crying too....

_You made him cry, good job!_

"You didn't d-do anything w-wrong" Michael was mumbling and sniffling "s-sorry I made you cry" he practically whimpered.

They just stood there in silence, feeling each other's presence.

Michael could feel Jeremy breathing slowly down his neck.

Jeremy could feel Michael's heartbeat, setting an irregular rhythm in the quiet of the room.

They were both entranced with each other.

_It's so creepy how you're enjoying this._

Michael's thoughts just had to intervene.

The silence continued, until Jeremy let out a shaky breath and broke it.

"W-why did you say you were an awful friend?" Jeremy whispered, his voice was cautious, like he would scare Michael away if he was any louder.

".... I.... I don't know" He doesn't want to tell Jeremy why.

Jeremy seems to decide to change the subject.

"Do you want me to let go?" Jeremy says after he realises he hugged Michael out of nowhere and didn't ask if it was okay to begin with.

"N-no..." Michael's voice sounds so fragile.

"Okay, I won't"

Jeremy wrapped his arms tighter around him and nuzzled lightly against Michael's cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love constructive criticism! I'm not the best writer and I'd like your opinion! Hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> I drew something for the end scene, it's not very good, but I just wanted to :)  
> https://www.paigeeworld.com/post/596beaa95b885c570e21afca/jeremy-fanfiction-boyfriends-sad-meremy-drawing-by-wingedvix21


	3. And I feel like I might fall too deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy spends his morning at Michael's   
> And Michael texts rich for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oml guys, this fanfic is getting lots of support! I love all you :D   
> Anyway, I gave you guys a happy- uhh happier chapter this time, enjoy!

_How?  
How did this even happen?_

Michael was currently in his own bed with Jeremy snuggling up to his back, his arms around his hips and hands going up his shirt all while still snoring gently onto his neck.

See, this wouldn't be a problem if Michael didn't have a raging hard-on right now, and was wide awake.

_How did this happen again?_

_Oh right_

After Michael was done being a gross sniffling mess, they went to bed.

One bed = they share it

Okay fair enough, that was fine. Michael could handle that.

But as soon as Jeremy fell asleep, he started cuddling the nearest thing, like an octopus.

The nearest thing being Michael.

_Well, time to start freaking out again._

_What was going to happen when he woke up?_

_Should I apologise?_

_But he started cuddling me._

_How would that sound?_

'Hey Jeremy, in the middle of the night, you started cuddling me like a teddy bear, sorry about that'

Michael cringed.

_Yep, stupid._

Jeremy's hands shifted slightly and his arms attempted to pull Michael closer to him, if that was even possible.

Michael's heart was hammering in his chest, like it wanted to escape.

_This is gonna kill me one day._ Michael had decided, defeatedly.

He accepted his fate of being trapped in the arms of his lov- FRIEND, and tried his best to drift into unconsciousness despite how unbelievably uncomfortable he was right now.

And yet, he felt completely safe.

Michael swiftly fell asleep.

\--------

Jeremy woke up to find a sleeping Michael facing him, their limbs entangled and drool dribbling down his cheek and pooling under him.

_Ugh, why do I have to be so gross._

He tried moving his hand to wipe his face, only to notice that Michael has taken his whole arm captive while it's under his shirt, he's refusing to let go.

_We're both very cuddly sleepers apparently._ Jeremy infers.

Jeremy's heart speeds up.

He ignores it.

Jeremy gave up and instead his eyes moved to a digital alarm clock on the draws to the side of the bed.

7:30am

_At least Michael's parents won't get home yet. If they saw this, Michael would have some questions to answer..._

Jeremy blushes slightly at the thought.

_No I didn't._

Yes he did.

Jeremy sighs and decides he should probably wake up Michael, he's pretty sure his arm is broken from the position it's in anyway.

Attempt number one:

Jeremy whispers Michael's name trying to wake him up gently, he says it louder since Michael is still snoring soundly. But still to no avail.

Attempt number two:

Jeremy pushes his arm against Michael's skin (since his hand is still under his shirt) effectively rocking him to coarse him to wake.

_Michael is ticklish so it should annoy him enough to wake him._

Jeremy concludes thoughtfully.

Michael stirs.... and then just grumbles quietly and pulls Jeremy closer, constricting him in a tighter vice grip and pushing his face into Jeremy's chest.

_How in the hell is Michael so freaking strong, he's sleeping for god's sake!_

Jeremy was getting irritated at the shenanigans he's having to go through to get his best friend to let him go.

Just when Jeremy was about to give up on the "waking him up gently" thing, Michael made a small noise. It sounded like a whine.

_Is he awake?_

"...J..my..."

_Nope, he's still snoring. He's talking in his sleep then._

"....Jere...my..."

Jeremy's heart jumped.

_He's dreaming about me?_

Another whine, slightly louder. That one sounded... odd.

Okay, this is getting weird.

Jeremy was certain the dream was probably innocent enough and he shouldn't jump to conclusions, but he couldn't help his mind wandering a little.

_We spend like, everyday with each other, it's not like I haven't had dreams about Michael, this is perfectly normal._ Jeremy rationalised.

"Um, Michael? Miiiiiichaaaeeeeelll? Waaaakkee uuuup." Jeremy drawled out his words (well, obviously).

Michael grumbled and started doing small stretches as to not move too much. He tilted his head up and half opened his eyes to make contact with Jeremy's.

His eyes widened, looking shocked for a mere moment and his face going completely red.

He'd obviously realised the position they were in, but made no move to change it.

"M-mornin' Jer" Michael said sleepily, but you could still hear his nerves.

"Morning..." Jeremy responded, just as energetic (so not at all).

"Hey mike?" Jeremy's lips twitched upwards.

"Yeah?" Michael liked that name.

"What were you dreamin' about?"

"Huh? What do you me-" Michael paused. He just remembered.

"Um, wha- why do you a-ask?" His face was hot and Jeremy could feel his heart hammering. Since, for some reason, neither of them had moved yet.

"You said my name in your sleep and I was just wondering" Jeremy grinned obliviously.

"Jeremy my love, is it not obvious that you are the man of my dreams?" Michael put the back of his hand on his forehead and fake swooned.

Jeremy chuckled and sat up, free from Michael's grasp now.

Michael had dodged the question successfully.

If only Jeremy knew the truth to those words...

\--------

The boys (finally) decided to get dressed and went for breakfast.

Michael isn't sure whether he loves spending his morning with Jeremy, or hates it.

Jeremy says some shit when he's tired, that he maybe wouldn't say in the middle of the day, it's like the filter in his brain isn't fully functional when he first wakes up.

Jeremy has cheerios for breakfast because, "They look like tiny doughnuts".

_He's such a child._

He always leans his head on Michael whining and complaining about how tired he is.

_He's so clingy._

He plays with his hair constantly, because he thinks it's messy.

_He's just so.... ugh, freaking adorable!_

Michael's heart flutters, yet he's so frustrated.

_I swear, this is actually gonna kill me._ Michael sighed.

_Good._

The nagging voice in the back of his head had returned, instantly killing his odd "Jeremy high" he was having.

"Dude? You okay there, spaced face?" Jeremy said, waving a hand in front of Michael's face.

_See?! He says the weirdest things!_

Michael squeals in his head and can't stop himself from grinning happily at his best friend.

"Yeah, I'm good. When you planning on heading out, by the way?"

_Hopefully never._ Michael let that thought slip.

"Trying to get rid of me already?" Jeremy joked. He continued, "I was gonna go early since tomorrow I'm g-going out with Christine"

Ah, yes, now Michael's mood was completely ruined. It was the fastest change from giddy to completely fucking dead inside he had ever gone through.

_He could never think of you how he thinks of Christine._

"O-oh right, have fun. And don't forget to call me after, so I can either give you ice cream and tissues or celebration pizza"

"Got it, hopefully the pizza though" Jeremy looked worried.

Jeremy grabbed his bag, he had taken barely anything out of it.

Michael stood in preparation to see Jeremy off.

He skipped over to Michael, wrapped his arms around him and gave him a gentle squeeze. Michael hugged back and Jeremy pulled away.

"Guess I'm off, wish me luck" Jeremy smiled and took a couple steps towards the door with Michael following.

"What? No kiss goodbye?" Jeremy pouted.

Michael giggled. "Get outta here, you nerd."

Jeremy chuckled and promptly left Michael alone in his house.

Michael sat down in the nearest chair debating how he was gonna deal with this.

_Maybe I should ask someone else? I don't really feel like dealing with my own problems right now..._

He pulled out his phone and tapped on rich's contact.

PlayerOne: hey man

PyroBro: what up

PlayerOne: okay, I need advice

PyroBro: on?

PlayerOne: well, there's this guy right?

PyroBro: yeah?

PlayerOne: and I have a crush on him

PyroBro: Jeremy?

PlayerOne: no

PyroBro: if you say so

PlayerOne: and he's got a date with someone else

PyroBro: Jeremy's got a date?

PlayerOne: no, we aren't talking about Jeremy, we're talking about this other guy

PyroBro: of course

PlayerOne: and I guess I don't know what to do

PyroBro: I see, have you told him you like him?

PlayerOne: no?

PyroBro: there's your issue

PlayerOne: what? But they have a date with someone else, they don't like me, what would telling them accomplish?

PyroBro: fine, then cry and stuff your face with ice cream

PlayerOne: I don't want to do that..... again...

PyroBro: right, I got a plan

PlayerOne: what???

PyroBro: right, you're going to go up to him and say this, okay?

PlayerOne: ???

PyroBro: "you make my dick hard"

PlayerOne: IM NOT SYING THT TO JERMY

PyroBro: I thought we were talking about another dude

PlayerOne: I.. UGH, FINE ITS ABOUT JEREMY

PyroBro: called it, he your boyf, man

PlayerOne: I don't know what to do, he's got a date w/ Christine tomorrow

PyroBro: ice cream is still available

PlayerOne: you aren't good at advice

PyroBro: yeah, I know, wanna just come over?

PyroBro: I actually have some ice cream, I just checked omg

PlayerOne: fine

Michael begrudgingly got some stuff together and headed to rich's house.

\--------

**PyroBro messaged 'The squip squad'**

PyroBro: GUYS, MICHAEL IS ACTUALLY GAY FOR JEREMY

PyroBro: wait

PyroBro: OOPS

**PyroBro removed I'mHeere and TheJuliet from the group chat**

PyroBro: shit, that was close

TotallyBoss: BRO

PyroBro: I KNOW DUDE

GossipGirl: wait, that wasn't a thing before? I thought they were dating or something.

Chlo: why'd you remove Christine too?

PyroBro: Jeremy has a date with her apparently

TotallyBoss: DUDE

PyroBro: OMG, I KNOW BRO

BrookeIsShook: who changed my name to this

PyroBro: NOW ISNT THE TIME, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT HOW GAY MELL IS RN

GossipGirl: wait, what did he actually say

PyroBro: he was being depressed because Jeremy has a date w/ chris tomorrow, he said he had a crush on him

TotallyBoss: WHAT

PyroBro: SAME

Chlo: who wants to place bets on when they actually get together? It's pretty obvious Heere wants Mell more than Chris, sorry Chris.

BrookeIsShook: yeah, he won't shut up about him

TotallyBoss: A WEEK FROM NOW

PyroBro: 2 WEEKS FROM NOW

GossipGirl: in a month

Chlo: the end of the month

BrookeIsShook: 3 months

PyroBro: may the better guess win 20 bucks

TotallyBoss: NICE BRO

PyroBro: THANKS MAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Also, little competition in the comments, what do you guys think Michael was dreaming about? my sister literally said "Jeremy was a pony and Michael was riding him" and omg, I can't XD
> 
> I think I'm gonna draw something from each chapter btw, there's one for chapter 2 if you didn't see it, I can't put actual pictures up so I'm just gonna give the link, there won't be anything extra in the pics so you don't have to look at them if you don't wanna, I just like drawing my favourite part of the chapter.  
> Heere you go: https://www.paigeeworld.com/post/597461e5579ac75b0ef1cabf/michael-fanart-mell-bemorechill-pillow-drawing-by-wingedvix21


	4. There's no safety net

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy goes on a date.  
> Michael and Jake both slept over at Rich's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I promised 3 chapters, but then I realised how stupid that was because I can't write that fast, BUT, I basically did a chapter that's as long as 3 chapters? So here you go? Hope you enjoy? :)

_Today is the big day._

_Today was the day that I, Jeremy heere, am going to go on a date with Christine Canigula._

_And everything was gonna go well, and nothing bad will happen at all._

_Wait no, I'm jinxing myself. Stop it_

Saying that Jeremy was nervous is the understatement of the century.

He's showered twice, brushed his hair, flossed, checked the mirror at least 7 times and is currently pacing around his room checking the time on his watch every couple minutes.

_There's still an hour til' I have to pick up Christine._

Jeremy pondered what he should do for this time. But it was only brief, until he picked up his phone and started texting Michael.

I'mHeere: yo

PlayerOne: please never say yo again

I'mHeere: fair enough

PlayerOne: don't you have a date soon?

I'mHeere: in an hour, I'm nervous, what r u doing?

PlayerOne: slept over at Rich's, Jake is here too. Jus playing video games rn

I'mHeere: cool

PlayerOne: cool

I'mHeere: oh wait, I haven't seen Jake in a while, how is he?

PlayerOne: He has to use those sticks that help u walk.

PlayerOne: but other than that he's good

I'mHeere: say hi for me?

PlayerOne: JEREMY I LOVE YOU, I WANNA HAVE UR BABIE

Jeremy was startled for a moment before he shortly realised that probably wasn't Michael texting him.

A moment later...

PlayerOne: HE TOOK MY PHOEN I DIDNT WRIT THAT I SWEAR JER IM SORRY

I'mHeere: sure you didn't ;p

PlayerOne: ah yeah, you caught me, I couldn't hide my raging desire for you to impregnate me, but alas, my dream shall never come true... oh the horror!

I'mHeere: your desire for my ass shall never come to be

PlayerOne: woah hold on now, I thought we were talking about my ass getting pounded

_Oh._

Their jokes had never gone this far before. But that didn't mean Jeremy wasn't willing to play along. Also, if he backed out now, he'd probably make it weird.

I'mHeere: oh? So I'm the man in this relationship now?

PlayerOne: well one of us has to be and it sure ain't me, if I was the top, you'd probably be crushed, u look like a stick!

I'mHeere: but you like my stick, don't you? ;) ;) ;)

PlayerOne: mmm baby I love ur stick

Jeremy giggled at the way their type of friendship somehow made this conversation okay. He checked his watch again.

_Wow, that killed time. Michael really needs to respond faster._

I'mHeere: lol I'm gonna go soon, wish me luck?

PlayerOne: may the stars align and gods be in your favour or something, have fun dude

I'mHeere: thanks!

_Huh, I actually feel better_

Jeremy grinned at himself in the mirror, took a deep breath.

_Okay, arch your back, puff out your chest..._

Jeremy shivered.

_You won't get rid of me..._

That wasn't Jeremy's voice.

"No! No... I imagined that. Loudest voice is mine, right okay. You can't bother me today, I'll be with Christine and it'll be great, yeah. It'll be f-fine. And I am... still talking to myself, wow... okay gonna stop now." Jeremy gave a hallow laugh, succeeding in calming himself (well, as calm as you could be about a robot in your brain talking to you.)

He took another deep breath.

"C'mon Jeremy, you got this"

With one last look at his phone, he stuffed it in his pocket and darted out the door.

\--------

Michael was regretting several recent life choices.

_Did I really just tell Jeremy I like his stick?!_

"Kill me please" Michael said, a soft thud sounded through the room as his head gently hit the table in defeat.

_You took it too far_

_He probably hates you now_

_He just didn't want to be awkward about it_

Jake and Rich turned to Michael, away from their own conversation.

"Why? Did you take my advice about what to tell him?" Rich said with a laugh.

"It was damn fucking close" Michael didn't lift his face from the table. He didn't have the energy to.

_I'm dead!  
I'm so fucking dead!_

"Woah! Wait, really?"

Michael suddenly straightened himself on his chair and turned to face them.

"We were just joking and I said I liked his dick, he set me up for it, so don't think he took it seriously, but I still can't believe I actually fucking said that! His date with Christine is soon! and- an-"

Jake interrupted "Okay! Okay... calm down, it's fine isn't it? Friends make jokes like that right? I mean, we do"

He gestured to Rich, and Rich nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah, I'd fuck this dude" Rich said casually, pointing at Jake who also nodded.

"But it wasn't a joke!" Michael yelled.

There was a slight pause.

"So, you _do_ like his dick?" Rich questioned a smirk appearing on his lips. Jake was grinning in the background.

"Wha- no! I mean... I..." Michael stuttered, startled by the question.

"It's cool dude, chill out. Wow, I didn't think you'd actually admit it" Jake laughed.

"I d-don't..." Michael said, trying to hide his flushed red face.

"Whatever you say" Rich extended his hand "you want a tic tac?"

"I don't understand how you can even look at those..." Michael spat, glaring at the small box like it had committed a crime.

Rich shrugged his shoulders.

"So, why do you like Jeremy anyway? and, follow up question, why on earth has he not noticed?" Jake said, the smile evident in his voice.

"I'm not _that_ obvious" Michael pouted.

Jake and Rich share a glance, but say nothing.

Michael moved from where he was sat over to where jake and Rich were both sat on the bed, preparing for the speech he was probably going to string together off the top of his head.

"And... I don't know, he's just... weird. He's such a dork and just so clueless and silly sometimes it's ridiculous. Jake, Rich, he once forgot his own freaking name, because he had just woken up, HIS NAME, GUYS" Michael said with staged annoyance, but you could still hear the affection in his words.

Michael kept talking, he spilled his soul to them, he let out so many thoughts and stories that he'd never let anyone hear, about Jeremy's top 5 favourite things to do when he's bored in class, or how to read his every emotion based on the way he speaks and how he fidgets.

Michael spewed nonsensical compliments, or were they insults? Most of it probably made absolutely no sense to Rich, or even Jake, but they still listened intently. The words gushing from Michael's mouth would only be clear to Michael. They made sense to Michael and no one else.

"And it's just so frustrating and I don't know what to do about it... ugh, he's got me hanging off his every word and I hate it, but I don't! And that's the problem!" Michael rants, obviously conflicted about whatever he was currently babbling about.

The two stared at him for another couple seconds, waiting to see if he was going to say anything else. Once it was evident that he wasn't, Rich thought it wise to say something.

"Michael... Jake only asked why you liked him..." Rich said, still smiling though.

"Oh... uh, sorry?" Michael looked embarrassed now.

Rich looked thoughtful for a few tense moments.

Then he spoke up.

"It's not a crush... is it?"

The question hit Michael like a truck... A truck into a gas station... A truck filled with oil into a gas station.

_Would you sit up at night for hours thinking about your crush? Probably not. Would you go to a party that you don't want to go to because they asked? Debatable. Would you (heroically) save them from an evil tictac and then forgive them after they were a dick to you and nearly enslaved the entire school?_

_..._

_Hell, fucking no._

_So... I don't have a crush on him..._

_He loved Jeremy._

_Oh my god I love Jeremy_

_Oh my god you love Jeremy!_

_Why am I so stupid! I love Jeremy!_

Michael's eyes were wide when he looked back up at Rich, he probably looked insane.

"No, no it isn't..." He said seemingly in disbelief.

\--------

Jeremy took shaky steps up the few steps leading to the door.

He tentatively reached out a hand to ring the doorbell. He ended up making himself jump from the load chime sound.

_Pull yourself together_

Shortly after the chime, footsteps could be heard from behind the door and the door swung open to reveal (que the music. Christiiiiine~) Christine dressed in a casual plain shirt, jacket and jeans.

"Hiya!" She said cheerfully.

"H-hi, you look... amazing..." Jeremy whispered nervously

"Aw, thanks! You look good too" Christine beamed.

Christine practically jumped outside, next to Jeremy. She looked up at him and grinned brightly.

"So! We're going for slushies, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Let's go"

After a couple minutes of walking, they have talked about very little. Christine says a few things about the next play that the school is going to work on after summer break and asks Jeremy if he was gonna be in it.

Jeremy had some mixed feelings considering how the last play went, but ended up just saying "probably". Because he probably would. Christine was going to be there after all.  
  
Jeremy had walked to the outdoor slushy stand at least a million times, Michael seemed to live off of them. _He's probably the reason they haven't shut down._ Jeremy joked silently.

But this time he's taking Christine, he's gotta do this right.

When Michael showed him the place, they walked a longer way before they found a shortcut. That was a few years ago, and if he's completely honest, Jeremy kind of misses walking that way. Seeing bright lights from the tiny shops attempting to lure people inside. Small patches of greenery on the sides surrounded by pavement, home to short trees.

He's going to take Christine that way, she'll love it.

"Uh, I have a path there that Michael used to take me, it's nice? I mean, it's pretty. But if youdontwanttogo-"

"Jeremy, calm down, of course I want to go." She stops and points like she's a parent scalding him for his behaviour "you need to stop doubting yourself, understand?"

She gently placed her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"Oh, uh yeah... I got it" Jeremy whispers, suddenly seeming to be in a trance by what she said.

"Ok, then lead the way!" She yells excitedly. Some people turn to look at them, but Christine seems like she isn't phased.

_Huh, that was weird, last time she touched me... touched my arm (Jeremy has a dirty mind, so he had to change his thought) I'm pretty sure I almost exploded. Maybe I'm less nervous because she's actually on a date with me? But wouldn't that make me more nervous?_

Jeremy decided the internal conflict wasn't worth it, besides, he should probably focus on the date. So he shrugged it off and lead Christine through the peaceful walkway.

On the way there, they passed a very vibrant coloured shop that happened to catch Jeremy's eye.

_That's one's new..._

It had a glimmering, new-looking sign, fingerprint clear windows, and brightly coloured, neon blue lights decorating the frame.

Jeremy's eyes sparkled with interest once he saw some game consoles in the window (before anyone says something like, "gamers aren't all obsessed with everything to do with gaming, this is unrealistic" I'm just gonna say that I'm basing Jeremy's behaviour on my own right here)

Jeremy couldn't help but wonder what else would be in there. He was staring into space and started to walk slower to keep the building within his vision.

Christine noticed right away.

"Do you want to look?"

"Uh- what?" Jeremy snapped his attention back to Christine.

"I don't mind, we can go in, if you want" she grinned at him.

_She's so nice..._

"I... are you sure?"

She only smiled wider in response.

Jeremy's eyes twinkled like a kid getting told they can have ice cream before dinner. He twirled on his heels to face his geek paradise.

"Woah..."

Jeremy admired all the CDs and games on the shelves, all the different coloured controllers in glass cases, all the gaming posters, the few cosplay outfits in the corner, and every piece of heaven he could gaze upon. (I'm describing a real place)

"Oh my gosh, I have to tell Michael about this place, he'd love it! I-"

Jeremy blurted, seemingly forgetting he was with Christine for a minute, before it had struck him.

_It would be rude, wouldn't it?_

"Go ahead, I don't mind" she smiled at him innocently.

Jeremy smiled back.

"You are way too nice Chris, like... seriously"

"I know"

"Are... are you sure it's okay?"

She nods at him and turns to look around herself for a bit. Despite not actually being that interested, it was still fun to look around

2pm:

I'mHeere: DUDE

PlayerOne: um, hi? Aren't you on a date?

I'mHeere: yeah, it's going well I think?

PlayerOne: if it's going well why are you texting me?

That sounded a little passive aggressive... I'm sure he didn't mean it to.

I'mHeere: WELL, you know the way we used to walk to get slushies???

PlayerOne: oh ya, what about it?

I'mHeere: THERES THIS NEW SHOP RIGHT

PlayerOne: okay...?

I'mHeere: ITS A GEEK SHOP DUDE, THERE ARE SO MANY GAMES IN HERE

PlayerOne: *Heere

I'mHeere: I hate you

PlayerOne: aww, thanks :)

PlayerOne: so, it's a good shop? or are you geeking out because there's anime cat girl toys in there.

I'mHeere: no there isn't, rude. AND THEY AREN'T TOYS

PlayerOne: good, if you dragged Christine into an anime shop I'm pretty sure she'd run for the hills, I would

I'mHeere: >:(

PlayerOne: :p is that all you had to tell me? You should probably get back to your date right?

I'mHeere: OH SHIT, YEAH

PlayerOne: who's the rude one now, huh?

I'mHeere: ME, I KNOW. BYE MICHAEL

PlayerOne: see ya

_Something seemed off about Michael..._

_WAIT! Ugh why am I so stupid? He's jealous that I have a date now and he doesn't. How in the hell did I forget that?_

Jeremy feels his guilt bubble in his stomach, casting his gaze towards the floor.

_I texted him while on a date... what kind of friend am I?_

_The one that abandons his best friend and leaves him alone, this is just like then isn't it? You don't deserve a friend like him._

"Shut up" Jeremy accidentally mumbled out loud.

Christine turned around from the shelf she was eyeing.

"Did you say something?"

"Uh, I was... thinking I should get Michael something? Is that okay?"

"You don't have to ask me Jeremy, I'm not gonna say no"

"Uh, thanks"

Jeremy turns his attention back to the shelves and glares each item down, until one item in particular catches his eye.

A smirk weaves its way onto Jeremy's face.

He takes it from the shelf and takes it to the counter.

Christine looks past his shoulder to see what he has chosen. When she finally catches a glimpse, she lets out a small giggle.

"You sure he'll like that?" She asks, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Michael has, pretty much, all the decent games in this shop already, and if I know my player one, he loves making fun of my hobbies, so yeah, I'm pretty sure he'll love it" Jeremy, for the first time in front of Christine, spoke with confidence.

Surprise replaces the cemented grin on Christine's face for a split second, then returns to normal.

They walk out of the shop and continue as they had planned, they reached the slushy stand, ordered, then sat at the wooden tables outside.

"Me and Michael usually see how much of the drink we can get down before the brain freeze makes us pass out" Jeremy seemed to chuckle at a memory, before continuing.

"Once we had to convince a passerby that I was okay, because I had fallen out of my seat and wailing in pain on the ground. He was about to call the ambulance!" Jeremy started full on laughing, not loudly. But you could tell it was real.

Christine considered this for a moment.

"Bet I could beat you" she said with a glint of determination in her eye.

"You bet you could... oh, yeah okay. But if I win, you have to buy me another slushy."  
Jeremy said, picking up on the atmosphere for once.

"Well, if I win, you have to take me out again, and you have to pay for my lunch too.

Is that really a loss on Jeremy's part?

"You're on"

...

Christine won.

Christine won, very easily.

Although Jeremy lasted a respectable 9 seconds, it was not enough.

After the 9 seconds, he couldn't do it anymore and dropped his head to the table in defeat, hands in his hair, trying to soothe the pain while a little yell of victory came from across the table, followed with a quiet "are you okay?"

He slowly nods and smiles bashfully, looking up from the surface of the table.

"Guess, you're paying for the next date heere" she said smugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate feedback!  
> Here's the picture for this chapter:  
> https://www.paigeeworld.com/post/598e67d64cd49f570ed0ad94/jeremyheere-michael-fanart-mell-michaelmell-drawing-by-wingedvix21
> 
> There's no angst apart from the first chapter, I knew my heart couldn't take it, BUT THERES NO NEED TO WORRY, IM SURE I CAN WHIP UP SOME MORE >:)
> 
> Also, it's 4am WOOHOO :D


	5. There's no floor to crash through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH, SORRY THIS IS SOOOOO LATE!!! I had soooo much homework, plus exams are not that far away and I'm so scared :(
> 
> Okay, so this chapter turned out kinda weirdly? Like it started fine, but idk what happened. I BLAME IT ON MY INEXPERIENCE FOR WRITING.
> 
> Hope u enjoy, hopefully the next few chapters will be more interesting.
> 
> BTW, no one guessed the thing? I'm surprised actually, I did mention cosplay in the shop, right?

5pm

Jeremy flopped onto his bed with an exhausted sigh, his first date was a success.

He rolled over and grinned dreamily into his pillow, taking his phone out of his pocket, holding it awkwardly out in front of him, the bottom of it sinking into the blankets, almost under his pillow.

I'mHeere: you want to come over?

He wants to see Michael, today has been exhausting and he just wanted to get high or play games, some kind of mindless fun. Before his anxiety reminds him that today somehow wasn't so great.

PlayerOne: oh god, icecream or pizza?

Jeremy's half-hearted chuckle was muffled by the pillow, as he typed a reply.

I'mHeere: weed

PlayerOne: uh, does that mean, "Hooray we got a happy Jeremy, Heere" or is it "I want to forget all my problems and live in a hole, Jeremy"?

I'mHeere: it means I'm exhausted, the date went fine, and I want to get high

PlayerOne: gotcha, I'll sneak out and climb in through your window, ninja style

I'mHeere: oh okay, if I hear knocking I'll know it's a stranger and I'll just not unlock the door then

PlayerOne: no, open the door, you ass

I'mHeere: you like my ass

PlayerOne: shhhh, don't tell Jeremy

Jeremy giggled. His chest felt so much lighter.

He could imagine them both staring at the screen, laughing at each other's jokes. Not having to worry about judgement. Everyone else just being a source of anxiety and nerves, but they were just trapped in their own little world again, maybe managing to ignore their issues, if only for a second.

They were okay, now.

Not perfect.

But they were safe.

And it scared Jeremy that, at a point in his life, he somehow thought he could live without it, no matter what that little voice in his head had told him.

Yet, Michael brought him to his senses, even when he thought it was too late, Michael had once again reminded him that he couldn't exist without Him.

Player two can't exist without their player one.

Jeremy was snapped out of his random deep thought for the day, by a hearty knock on the door, accompanied by a familiar voice.

"You better open the door, Heere!"

Jesus, that was quick.

Jeremy stumbled down the stairs to greet his eager company.

\--------

Michael looked at the screen of his phone fondly one last time before shoving it into his pocket, and waiting for the door to unlock.

However, he was taken by surprise by the door opening and a pair of arms wrapping around him.

"Uh... are you okay?"

Michael gave Jeremy a soft pat on the back before Jeremy let go and looked him in the eye.

"Yeah... come in"

Jeremy contradicts his statement by not bothering to budge and just keeping his gaze on Michael.

"You're... you're blocking the door?" Michael said, confused by the behaviour Jeremy seems to be exhibiting.

"Oh! Right, uh sorry!" Jeremy apologised and backed away from the entrance.

Michael walked in casually, closing the door behind him.

"Hey Jer?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay there, buddy?" Michael said, concerned.

"I'm... great, actually" Jeremy sighed.

Michael wasn't sure what that answer meant, but smiled and accepted it anyway.

"We going up to your room, or what?" Michael asked.

_That sounded like you were implying something, didn't it?_

Michael winced, but before he could rephrase it, Jeremy moved past him.

"Yeah, let's go" Jeremy replied, apparently not noticing.

Jeremy's room wasn't usually that messy, but Michael noticed a few things out of place. It isn't like Jeremy was a neat freak, but he definitely makes a bit of an effort.

_Probably to make up for how his dad's room looks._

Michael sighed.

They both sat on the unmade bed.

"Oh yeah, I never texted you today, because of your date, but Jake wants to invite some people to his house to spend the night. We're invited. I heard it's just going to be Brooke, Jenna, Chloe, Christine, Jake's boyfriend, and us"

"Jake's... boyfriend?"

"Rich"

"What? They aren't together" Jeremy replied.

"Yeah, but..." Michael's voice changed to a whisper as he leaned closer to Jeremy "Surely, even you've noticed how Rich looks at him, right?" Michael finished with a smirk.

"I can't say it hadn't crossed my mind, yeah" Jeremy said, matching Michael's tone.

"That aside, how come they didn't just ask you directly? They have your number, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I was part of a group chat that we made, everyone who was squipped was in it, but they kicked me out"

"What? Why?"

"I-I'm not sure, I haven't asked, maybe they thought I was a-annoying or something?"

"Aww, Jer-bear... they don't think that"

"I mean, none of us would really be friends if it wasn't for that whole... event. What if they realised they don't like me after all, maybe they all hatemenow-"

"Woah, dial it back, Jer. They don't hate you" Michael stopped Jeremy, he didn't want to listen to anything bad being said about Jeremy, even if it was from him.

"But-"

"No buts! You are nice, funny, cute- erm, thoughtful, awesome, and if anyone hated you, then I would... do something, that I can't think of right now, but it'll be bad!"

"Uh, thanks..."

"As long as you understand" Michael huffed.

"So... I'm cute?"

"I mean... sure. Hasn't Christine said that to you? I could think of a few people that would agree if you asked them."

_You're really going to cover it up by saying it like it's something obvious?_

_Good job, Michael._

"Um, no, she didn't say that... she said I looked good?"

_Why did I have to bring up Christine? Why? Am I a masochist?_

"Oh!" Jeremy suddenly yelled, making Michael jump "I just remembered! I got you something"

Jeremy hopped off the bed and skipped towards his bag, unzipping it and stuffing his hands in to search for it.

"Oh no" Michael laughed.

Jeremy seemed to find what he was looking for, since his hands stopped moving.

"Close your eyes"

"Okay, but if I open my eyes and find out I've been mugged, I won't hesitate to kick you in the nuts"

"Damn, there goes my plan, I guess." Jeremy giggled "Just close your eyes"

Michael obeyed and let his eyes fall shut. He heard some rustling and footsteps in the carpet getting closer.

He felt a hand graze his ear, making him flinch slightly from the ticklish sensation. Movement paused for a couple seconds, before Michael heard a soft "sorry" and felt something again.

He felt plastic behind his ears. Michael also couldn't help but acknowledge the breath tickling his forehead, before tiny plastic teeth pressed against the top of his head.

_A headband?_

_..._

_Oh my god, he can't be serious, can he?_

Michael immediately became pretty certain about what he was wearing now, and he was desperately trying to wipe the smile from his face.

Suddenly, he felt a careful hand against the outside of his right thigh, making him flinch again, but the hand didn't retract. Jeremy had grabbed Michael's hand instead, and was lightly tugging at it, coercing Michael to stand up and follow him.

He didn't bring him very far, they only walked for about 3 seconds.

_He's taken me to the other side of the room... ah, I'm probably in front of his mirror._

"Jeremy, if I'm wearing what I think I am, I'm going to kill you"

Jeremy seemed to be masking giggles as he replied.

"At least I'll die after getting to see this"

Michael opened his eyes and, lo and behold, what Michael imagined was completely correct.

Atop his head, he saw two fluffy ears, presumably from a fox or wolf. They were inky black like his hair, with the tip of them fading into white, and the inside was a pale pink. He couldn't see the plastic part, because his hair covered it.

_Oh my god, I look like something from his deviantart page!_

"I can't believe you"

Michael turned to look at Jeremy, to find that he was wearing something similar.

The ears were smaller, they looked like a cat's, and they were just a slightly lighter brown than Jeremy's hair.

There was a brief silence where they just took in the sight of each other in their new, very temporary, change in appearance.

"Jeremy, you look like a dork"

"So do you!" Jeremy retorted.

"You put them on me!"

"I got you those out of the kindness of my heart, and this is how I am treated?" Jeremy said with mock sadness.

"I feel like you're trying to get me to join your cult or something"

"It's not a cult"

"I'm still kink shaming"

"Hey! I'm sure you have some weird kink, too!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!"

"So there is something!"

"No! And if there was, it's none of your business!"

"No way, you gotta tell me now"

Jeremy backed Michael up against a wall, but Michael slid around him and moved to the bed. Jeremy was moving like a shark circling him, trapping him between him and the bed, he didn't look threatening at all, even without the cat ears, he wouldn't.

Without warning, Jeremy pounced on Michael, trying to pin him to the bed. Michael tried to escape his grasp, but it only moved him further up the bed, making his animal ears hit the headboard, but they didn't fall off.

Jeremy straddled him, sitting on his thighs and grabbed Michael's wrists and pinned them onto the blankets at either side of the boy below him.

"Nowhere to run, now you have to tell me!" Jeremy demanded with a triumphant smile.

"Jesus Christ" Michael huffed, between fits of laughter.

_Holy shit, he's sat on me, what the fuck._

Michael could feel the heat from his face pool into his abdomen, unwillingly.

_This is kinda like that dream he had a few days ag- No, stop that thought right fucking there._

Why must his body betray him?

Michael could feel Jeremy's breath on his face. He kept smiling to not raise suspicion, but Michael needed to do something about this, or else it's game over.

Jeremy shifted on Michael's legs appearing to try and get more comfortable since Michael wasn't answering.

_Shit, if he moves forward he'll definitely fucking notice. Has Jeremy seriously not realised how weird this position is?_

_..._

_Okay, it's Jeremy, he doesn't notice anything, but still._

However, thanks to that movement Jeremy had made, an idea had sparked into Michael's mind.

Michael's left leg moved outwards while his other stayed stationary, spreading Jeremy's legs a bit more and lifting him. This gave Michael's other leg a couple inches of wiggle room.

_This shouldn't hurt him, but he'll definitely jump off of me._

Michael looked Jeremy in the eye and smirked, right before bucking his leg between Jeremy's.

"Ah!" Jeremy yelped in shock from the sudden, but small, amount of pain, and rolled off of Michael, immediately sitting upright and closing his legs.

Michael scrambled to the other side of the bed, pulling his hoodie lower down to cover the excitement in his jeans.

"Dude, not fair! That's cheating!"

"Life is unfair" Michael retorted, turning his body away from Jeremy.

"Fine" Jeremy begrudgingly accepted his argument.

Both of their headbands had fallen off and were lying on the pillow, Michael grabbed his and played with the fake fur between his fingers.

_Thank god that conversation was dropped._

_There is no way I'm telling Jeremy I like vore._

_Well, I suppose the gift he got me was kinda cute._

Michael smiled at it, but then frowned once again.

_Okay, that's the kind of thinking we are going to stop._

Michael looked thoughtful for another moment.

_Jeremy was acting weird earlier, maybe it was nothing. He seems fine now._

The rest of the night they just played video games, got high and slept.

Neither of them could complain.

\--------

A week later and Jeremy had gone on more dates than Michael could care to count,  
yet he was mercilessly subjected to Jeremy's detailed description of each of them.

Oddly enough, Michael and Jeremy had already been to all the places mentioned. This was undoubtedly making it much harder for Michael to hear Jeremy put a fuzzy, love-struck filter on the entire experience.

Michael couldn't bare to listen anymore, and once made a mistake and asked:

"Has she kissed you yet?"

A question Michael wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. The thought of the word "yes" coming from Jeremy's mouth was putting Michael in emotional agony.

A familiar red dusted Jeremy's cheeks before he answered.

"U-um, she does, on the cheek, but nothing more"

Just the image of it was making Michael feel sick to his stomach. He feels like he's lost a battle he was never in. Like something that was never part of him is gone.

_He's with Christine._

_He doesn't want you._

_No one ever will._

But of course, every date he was told the story of, followed with:

"Are you okay?"

"You don't mind me talking about this, right?"

"B-but it wasn't that great, how was your day?"

_I'm fine._

_I don't mind._

_I've been great._

_You're a liar._

_You aren't fine._

_You've been after him pretty much from the day you met him._

_And after all those years, you could never tell him._

Michael remembers a time when he was around 5 or 6.

When he had met Jeremy.

His life around that moment felt so hazy, he couldn't remember anything before it, or a couple years after it.

He had picked a few daisies from the school's field the kids were all playing on, Michael's eyes landed on another kid who was slightly older, probably 8, named Dustin.

Michael grinned and happily waddled over to him.

"Hi! I have a flower, I want to give it to you"

He held out the daisy in his hand, extending it towards the boy.

"Why are you giving it to me?"

"Uhhh, because.... I think you're cute!" Michael smiled at him.

"Ew, go away. I don't want a flower from a boy, you're gross" Dustin spat, bitterly.

He gave Michael a shove, causing him to fall backwards before the older boy scurried back over to his friends.

Michael started tearing up, not bothering to try and stand back up. He dropped the flowers he had been collecting and threw his arm over his face, sobbing into him sleeve, before he hears steps in the grass approaching him.

"Hey! Can you hear me?"

Michael removed his hand from his face slowly, revealing a pale-looking boy in a sky blue shirt, wearing a crown made of daisies.

"Y-yes" Michael sniffed.

"Was that boy mean to you? If we tell our teacher, she can yell at him for us"

"Uh, okay..."

"I'm J-Jeremy"

"Jerer-um..."

"My name is long, call me what you want. What's your name?"

"Michael"

"Does Mike want this?" Jeremy lifted his hand to point at the flower ring tangled in his hair, "It's a crown! I can make another one, it's hard to do, my dad showed me"

"Okay, prince"

Jeremy pulled the circle of white petals from his hair and placed it gently onto Michael, stray petals still clung to his hair.

"No, you're prince now, because you're wearing the crown"

"So, what are you now?"

"Ummmm, I'm... a bear! Roar!" Jeremy lifted his arms and shaped his fingers into claws.

"Jerer the bear" Michael muttered.

"Yeah! The prince has to fight me!"

"Shouldn't you be a dragon then?"

"If the prince can slay a dragon, he can fight bears too" Jeremy argued, confidently.

"What if I made friends with the bear, instead?" Michael suggested.

"How will you make friends with a bear?" Jeremy asked, looking completely dumbfounded.

"Uhhh, I'll give him a flower, and pat him on the head"

Michael picked up the daisy he had dropped previously and held it out to Jeremy.

Jeremy looks at the pretty plant for a couple of seconds, before carefully taking it from Michael's fingers. Michael kept his word and pushed his palm down on Jeremy's hair.

"The bear is friends with prince Mike now!" Jeremy exclaimed.

"You are cute, for a bear" Michael blurts.

Jeremy stares for a minute, not saying anything.

"Sorry" Michael whispers.

"Why's prince mike sorry? You're cute too" Jeremy beamed.

Michael's eyes twinkle from happiness.

"Thanks, Jer-bear"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry, for the vore joke.
> 
> Okay! Since there were two main things that happened here, AND THIS WAS SO FRICKIN LATE, I've drawn two pics for this one:
> 
> https://www.paigeeworld.com/post/59af132db0f7544b0feb05cc/jeremy-michaelmell-furry-jeremyheere-bmc-drawing-by-wingedvix21
> 
> https://www.paigeeworld.com/post/59af149fb0f7544b0feb0628/jeremy-michaelmell-fanart-jeremyheere-bmc-drawing-by-wingedvix21
> 
> Jeez, those links are long. Oh well.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, comment what you think.


	6. So I need someone to catch me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jeremy :(  
> Michael needs to swoop in and save the day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, it's practically been a year. How y'all doing? An apology is in order, but I'll put it in the notes at the end. For now, have fun reading! ;)

"I'm breaking up with you"

Jeremy was standing in front of Christine's house, he had started wandering in through the doorway.

The words sunk into Jeremy, and he seemed to visibly freeze. His posture stiffening and all the colour drained rapidly from his face.

"W-what?" He stammered.

"I'm sorry, Jeremy. But I don't think it's working..." she said, staring at the ground.

"W-what did I d-"

"It's not something you did" Christine hastily cut in.

"Then w-why?"

"I just don't think I'm attracted to you Jeremy, I'm sorry"

"I-it's fine" he lied.

"I still want to be friends though! And... um Jeremy? Are you sure you're okay? You're shaking... really badly..." Christine reached out a gentle hand in concern.

"Uh yeah! It's cold?"

"But it's summer... Jeremy?"

"M-maybe I should leave I n-need to-"

"Jeremy, wait. Let me explain first. Please."

Jeremy turned on his heels, attempting to escape the embarrassment of crying in front of his gir- friend.

"N-no, its fine, I know t-that I'm not good enough, and I knew this w-would happen a-and-"

"No! Jeremy, that's not it. You did nothing wrong" she confidently proclaimed.

"I-I didn't?"

"Not at all. In fact, I was starting to think you were out of my league" she sang, punctuated with amusement.

She continued.

"But I'm sorry Jeremy, I wish I could feel a connection between us, I really do. I can't date someone who I don't feel attracted to, I hope you can understand"

"Uh, yeah... friends?"

"Friends"

"I guess I'll go then..."

"Oh, and before you go..."

Her face changed, it was bright, energetic ; it looked solemn and thoughtful suddenly.

"Maybe think about if it's me you really wanted to be with, when we dated"

"W-what?"

"Bye Jeremy! See you soon!"

She promptly shut the door, leaving Jeremy alone with his head voices.

Jeremy began to walk home, by himself. He let his body carry him halfway, until his phone interrupted his spacing out.

  
PlayerOne: your date over?

I'mHeere: yeah, over...

PlayerOne: dude?

  
Was Jeremy going to let Michael see him like this? Or was he about to go home alone and deal with this, himself?

Jeremy considered this, only for a short moment.

 

I'mHeere: I'm coming over

PlayerOne: okay

PlayerOne: wait, what?

  
Jeremy put the phone back in his back pocket, he heard his phone vibrate again, but didn't make any move to check it.

\------

PlayerOne: that's fine? I'm home alone anyway, the door is open

(Unread)

  
Michael knew something was wrong.

_Embarrassed himself? No, Christine knows he gets nervous, and she'd never laugh at him._

_Argument? Doubt it, they haven't been going out that long, and neither of them would start anything._

_Did someone interrupt their date? Nah, Jeremy wouldn't be very upset about something like that._

_Break up?_

_..._

_Oh no..._

Michael felt relief for a beat, before overwhelming guilt for even thinking about it being a good thing.

Michael stumbled down the stairs to go get some icecream. He got two bowls.

_I don't know for sure, but just in case._

He waited patiently on the couch for Jeremy to get here. Michael quickly noticed drops of rain tapping on the glass of the window.

Knocking finally echoed through the room, ushering Michael to head towards the door.

Michael was hesitant, having a staring contest with the handle. Thinking about what state Jeremy could be in when he opens the door, it made his hand tremble.

Michael balanced a bowl of vanilla ice cream in his left hand, while he turned the handle, revealing a shaky, not to mention absolutely soaked with rain, Jeremy on the other side.

Michael's heart dropped when he looked at Jeremy's face. He was paler than usual. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, yet there weren't bags under his eyes.

"Hey" Jeremy simply said, putting on a weak smile.

His eyes weren't smiling.

"Hi..."

Jeremy seemed to notice the ice cream. Michael saw a sparkle of emotion in his eyes, though he wasn't sure which emotion.

"You wanna... play video games?" Michael suggests, hopefully.

"Sure..."

 

An hour later...

 

Jeremy hasn't said anything after scarfing down his icecream. They've been trying to beat the same boss for an hour, both of the boys seemingly afraid to even mutter a few words.

Eventually, Jeremy had decided he'd had enough. He discards his controller just a few inches away from him, and stares at the carpet.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Michael questions, as gently as he could manage.

"I... S-she... broke up with me..."

"Oh, Jeremy... I'm so sorry..." Michael soothed, putting on his best comforting voice.

"N-no, you... y-you don't understand, I-it's..." Jeremy rattles, clearly conflicted.

Michael turned his body to Jeremy, now giving him full attention. Jeremy stared up at him expectantly, like he wanted Michael to read his mind. Michael's hands reached out to Jeremy's shoulders, but they settled for hovering over him, not actually making contact. The last thing he wanted was Jeremy being uncomfortable.

But Michael didn't have to worry about that, because as soon as he'd made the movement, Jeremy practically leapt into the boy's arms.

Jeremy's face was pressed against Michael's chest, hiding his face. He was gripping Michael's back like it was a safety vest, his soaked clothes wetting the front of Michael's hoodie from the rain and Jeremy's quiet sobbing into the cloth.

"It's okay, sintá. You're fine" Michael said soothingly, while gently rubbing Jeremy's back, in hopes of comforting the shaking boy in front of him.

Michael was not unfamiliar with this kind of situation. A couple days after the squip incident, Jeremy would seek either comfort, or a confirmation of Michael's forgiveness, nightly. But this was different, Michael didn't know what to do about a broken heart. He was at a loss.

Whatever he was doing seemed to be working though, as Jeremy's vice grip on Michael was starting to relax. The warm silence in the room persisted, Michael not knowing whether to wait for Jeremy to speak, or break it himself.

Jeremy's face was no longer against Michael's chest, the teen had turned his head, so his ear was able to pick up Michael's heartbeat. Jeremy was seemingly being lulled by the tune, he was still crying, but he didn't seem like he was scared for his life anymore.

Michael eventually realised Jeremy may not want to speak without a prompt, and chose to voice a question on his mind.

"What happened?" Michael spoke as though he was speaking to a frightened hamster.

"...she said... she didn't have feelings for me... so she broke up with me..." Jeremy talked between his sniffles and sad hiccups.

"Are you still friends?" Michael said in the same hushed tone.

"Y-yes..."

"So, it isn't all bad, right?"

"I-I'm not crying because she b-broke up with me..."

...

_What?_

Now, that raised a few questions in Michael's mind. Michael's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

_Why else would he be crying?_

Michael searched his brain and came up empty.

"Do y'mind if I ask why you are crying?"

"B-because I'm not upset"

_Ah, we are having a puzzling, "Jeremy's feelings" moment. Meaning, I may need to get him to explain._

Michael knows that the way Jeremy deals with his emotional issues is slightly unique. A bit more complicated than what Michael believes to be average within the few friends they have. This won't be a, "cuddles, video games and ice cream" fix.

"Did you want to elaborate, pare?" Michael whispered with a kind smile, though Jeremy couldn't see it.

_Don't push it too far, Mell._

"I-I'm confused because I'm not upset, and it's making me upset."

"You... aren't upset about breaking up with Christine?" Michael tried to confirm.

"N-No, but I don't g-get why, and I don't know what to do, and I thought I should be upset, and..."

"Shhh, remember to breathe, Jer-bear"

"I-I thought I was in love, so why don't I feel any pain? What if the squ-"

"No." Michael spat, a lot harsher than it was meant to sound.

Jeremy recoiled a few centimetres and lifted his head up, daring to look into Michael's eyes.

"I mean... sorry. I don't think it has to do with... that. I mean, you're crying now, right? Shit that sounded like it's a good thing. Uh... I mean, it's a bad thing that you're... but-"

Out of nowhere, he felt Jeremy have small spasms against him, and he heard the vibrations of happy noises you'd hear a kitten make.

_He's... laughing?_

"Haha... what's so funny? I don't get the joke" Michael said with an amused smile tugging unnaturally at his lips.

"Rambling is my job..." Jeremy said, his voice sounding small and weak, but he was definitely smiling.

_Fucking cute_

...

_Not now, gay thoughts_

Silence echoed in the room once again, the air seeming less tense than before.

"Listen bud, I'm not gonna tell you your feelings mean nothing, because I'm not an asshole. Um, but I think you're thinking too much and that's making it seem like you aren't in control. But what's the point in being upset about it? Loudest voice is yours, right?"

_I'm 80% sure, whatever I just said, made absolutely no sense._

Jeremy understood anyway. Michael could see his eyes become a shade brighter.

"So, did you wanna change clothes? You're literally dripping all over my carpet"

"Oh, sorry" Jeremy said dreamily, as though he wasn't even aware he was speaking. Staring at Michael, he had a curious look on his face, as if searching for something.

Jeremy still didn't make any move to stand up.

"Um, if you need to borrow some clothes, I think you know where they are?"

"Hmm? Oh! R-right."

Jeremy slowly (reluctantly?) removed himself from Michael, their clothes peeling away from each other as Jeremy disconnected them.

Jeremy changed out of his wet clothes, of course, not without an awkward silence while Michael turned around and waited. Within minutes, being the emotionally exhausted teenagers they are, they passed out in Michael's bed.

"Thank you, my knight in shining armour" Jeremy whispered, accompanied with a tired giggle.

"Anytime Jerbear" 

They dozed off next to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you liked it :) 
> 
> I am sooooo sorry about how much I have neglected this story! I'm 16 on the 22nd and we have had so many exams recently and a few scattered around the year too. It's no excuse, my deepest apologies. I plan on finishing this story though! I would never abandon it forever if you're concerned about it. I haven't drawn any art for it, which is a shame because my style has significantly improved, but I wanted to post this as soon as I could :D
> 
> PS I HAVE A NEW WORK, I'D LOVE IT IF YOU CHECKED IT OUT. IT'S ANOTHER BMC FANFIC :D
> 
> Thanks for your continued support!

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything emotional or anything, I'd love feedback! :)


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